A Tier Walk Away
by Longlive Imagination
Summary: In the brand new world, John has awoken with the issue that there is this now scary black smoke lingering behind him. It is starting to get him depressed as he finds himself slowly falling down depression. This is the story of how John fails or succeeds at fighting off this cursed smoke and what it means to fight depression. (plot is too huge. brain hurts. taking break)
1. Chapter 1

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John was sitting in his room when he felt the darkness emerge behind him. He took a peak behind him as he set down his game boy on the bed. John was wearing his old shirt with a grey spades and light blue sweat pants. Everyone really enjoyed wearing their God Tier Outfits but John found himself getting quickly bored of it. So he decided to wear his old clothing even if it meant having to now wash it all the time.

John kept looking behind him where the wall should be and saw the smog's smoke rise and swirl just a touch behind him. It was probably only 4 inches away at best and it always creeped him out but John hadn't found a way to solution this blob.

The darkness didn't do anything as always just hung there silently behind him. John was already fed up with it ever since he woke up from his coma. When he woke up from his 2 month coma after defeating the last bosses in the last universe, he was so happy to see everyone. And of course, he saw that smoke thing linger above him. Fearfully he would point at it while asking with worried eyes, what was that? But no one could see it. Only he could. And after finally seeing his friends and everyone around him look at him with worry and with surprised looks...he really didn't want to mention it anymore. He laughed it off as he was like, "Oh, it seems I was just having a nightmare! I'm back! No need to worry anymore."

Jade gave John a fierce hug as the rest looked on longing. John enjoyed that day for the most part. He even enjoyed it after everyone left the infirmary room while he asked a hundred or so questions towards the smoke of darkness. But there was no answer and John didn't try anymore.

After leaving the infirmary he was briefed by Rose that everyone had been working very hard to fix this new universe and world. They had managed to copy about 7 other worlds and set it in this orbit around a new sun which was conveniently the green sun. John could only give a low whistle as he realized how very much it was GOD-Like really, what his normal friends were doing. Like how did they even locate and drag that thing to this new universe? Damn. Then again, he wasn't sure anymore if he could say he was even human or the rest of his friends. Not after all they had gone through. Those normal notions and concepts had died with the old world.

Rose led him to his old home which was tidied up and looking outwards towards a nice green pasture and lake. Rose said that Jade's, Dave's, and her house were surrounding the lake so they were always a fly or phone call away. John had asked what about the trolls as she said they inhabited another world. She said that Karkat and Vriska had managed to make many window portals and placed them all around the worlds. So visiting was also a phone call away or a fly away.

John could only scratch his head in amazement as he asked, "And you guys did all this while I was sleeping?"

Rose smiled smartly as she declared, "Yes John~ We were told by a dungeon monster you'd wake up in 2 months time and we all chipped in trying to make this world an awesome place by the time you did."

John blushed in honor as he mouthed, "Thanks."

Rose then got a phone call from Kanaya as she gave John a fast hug.

"I gotta get going. We're all going to crash at your house in 2 days time. We'll chat more then~ We still want you to get some rest and stuff. And sorry that we're all over the place. Just...so much work to STILL do. Really. I feel much more like an adult than a 16 year old by now. Seriously."

"Rose, so all I have to do is call you guys right? If I want to talk?"

"Yeah or you can zap yourself to us. Just don't hesitate too. And you should enjoy your vacation. You'll be working day in and out when your times up. Plus, I kind of can't wait till my vacation! So glad I was able to land a final wizardly punch at that boss. Puts me up there in next in line for the much needed and ever beloved vacation times."

Rose hugged John one more time as she flew away talking hurriedly on the phone with Kanaya about some matters of water.

John walked home to see his dad there. They hugged and had a wonderful night discussion sharing the similarities and differences in their lives. Since this dad was technically Jane's dad as well.

Dad had agreed with Jane that he would live with John and her at their different places.

John asked sitting comfily on the couch, "So you're living with me on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Saturdays. And you're with Jane, Sunday's Wednesdays, Thursdays. And Friday is a family outing day? That sounds so GOOD!"

"You're not upset that we are not all living together son?"

"Naw, I'm okay with this. I mean...we do have tons of spare houses. It MAKES sense that we'd finally want to rule our own homes. Plus, it's kind of nice...it's like an adult perk to have your own place. ^U^"

Dad agreed as he asked John if for dinner he wanted Cake or Pie and John adamantly replied, "Neither!"

John walked up the stairs to see his room for the first time. He had forgotten to ask something else and he quickly turned to go back the stairs. It was then that he was face to face with the smoke of darkness. John could only constrain part of the scream as Dad quickly came out the kitchen asking what was wrong.

John sweated as he put on a forced chuckle and said, "Ah...u-um...I thought...I saw a s-s-spider dangling right in front of my face! Really hilarious how after fighting so many things, I'd...STILL be scared at something so...small? No w-w-orries dad!"

Dad settled down as he nodded in relief and went back to humming in the kitchen.

John had momentarily forgotten the thing and realized that he only noticed it when he'd look behind. He had no problem if he just didn't turn around. So if he just managed to control how he turned around, he'd not see it. With this, John spent the remainder of that night practicing how to turn and to successfully find away to not really see the black smoke.

He could pretend as if it wasn't there then. And for the most part it would work.

So to this day he remained quiet about it. He'd only turn around to see it, to know if it was still there or if it left. And after realizing that the smoke did mostly nothing, he was alright with it. It was only when John started to notice that he started to have negative thoughts up to recently that it bothered him.

At first, he would shake away the thoughts, thinking maybe they were rising traumas from all he had to endure and see in the past universe. It WOULD make sense that it would leave a scar or 10. He was just so positive that he thought he'd really be okay with everything that happened.

It still sucked that his whole world had died. His classmates, his town, his everything really. There would be no new movie releases or new anything. That just didn't exist anymore. Those sad thoughts did weigh on him. Killing off so many monsters and having to originally live in the dead-end timeline. He had been happy that Rose and everyone was here now, but in a sense he could never get over how they weren't really the friends he initially partook the whole journey with.

Not that he would ever mention this and hurt the feelings of his awesome friends. So he kept this other thing to himself. Though it would pop up from time to time in his mind.

While still in the room, John kept peering back towards the black smoke thing, trying to locate if there were eyes on this thing. Again he failed as he began to feel somewhat ill and looked away from it.

If he was looking at it too long he'd feel slight throbs of headaches rise and a twisting in his gut. He'd start to feel clammy and a rising fever. So he could only stare in moderation before becoming ill and becoming somewhat depressed.

He noted in a notebook he hid under his bed, facts about this strange smoke.

1) that it was dark

2) it was darker than the darkness when the lights were turned off

3)made him uncomfortable

4)made him sick if stared for more than 20 seconds

5) made him think negative thoughts

6)negative thoughts could be fought with a fast positive pep chat to himself

7) Lingers 4 inches away and moves away if he outstretches his hand

8)Never leaves

That was all the basic traits of this strange black swirling smoke.

It was probably a weird form of depression made tangible John had mused. But John knew that wasn't likely and that maybe it was a curse or something.

John promised himself that he'd say something about it soon. But that soon wasn't now just yet.

He had been told by his friends to relax since they all agreed that they would take turns constructing and fixing the world. 1 Person and 1 troll would have 4 months of vacation while the rest worked. And after their time was done, it would cycle on towards the next two who had a grander hand in finishing the game in the last universe.

John had been in a coma for the first 2 months and he just woke up a month ago. His friends figured that John should be up first on the roster since he did a lot of the heavy lifting. Though because he didn't wake up, John had already forsaken 2 months of fun times just by forced sleeping. John said it was okay when Jade recommended that they should tag on just another 4 months for John's Vacation, but John said it was alright.

The other troll who was on Vacation was Gamzee who had turned good during the last moments of the epic end battle. Turns out he was being manipulated for a long time and once he was blasted with the hope blast of light, he truly and finally came out of his stupor.

But John wasn't too keen on talking with Gamzee since he still felt creeped out by him. So John didn't bother to hang out with the other vacationing troll.

This black smog thing had only been with him for a month or so and for the most part John was fairing well. Happy thoughts were key in fighting against the subliminal depression vibes the smoke gave off. And playing all the games he wished he had before the game started, was the first thing on his mind.

John did notice some things while he stayed in his house that first month awake.

That bad luck things would occur.

Like the glasses he'd drink out of would conveniently slip out of his hand and shatter on the ground. After the 14th cup broke, he now resorted to drinking in plastic cups and always kept the mop around. He also noticed how he'd bang himself into many things. How things that shouldn't be in the way, then suddenly were. For the most part it didn't bother him. It only miffed him when he took off his shirt to shower all the new bruises and bumps he'd acquired. Also while now showering, it was more like a game. The water would turn to really hot or cold suddenly and he'd have to turn into air to escape from it. It took him longer to shower and Dad would sometimes knock on the door worriedly but John would always say that all was well. Dad did start to notice something as well but he didn't prod the thought too deeply and went on with his daily life being happy and alive again.

John knew for the most part that all these bad luck things was done by the hand of the dark smoke. Those negative feelings and bad things was all from it. But John wanted to discuss this slight problem only when it was really time. Luckily for him, in a month everyone would take a break and get together to discuss what had been done around the solar system. It had been named, "First international Meeting of the worlds."

John knew that would be the best time to ask everyone what he should do...and persuade everyone as well that no, he wasn't mental.

He knew this thing would probably kill him in time if he didn't do anything about it.

He just felt it.

He had been feeling more and more depressed each day and he was sure of it...that he now had it. Depression. Truly it was a killjoy having it during his vacation. But he didn't really want to reveal this to anyone yet.

He had always known about depression before he entered the game and he even had a first had a first encounter with someone who had depression.

When he was still little and his Dad had to go off to work, the lady next door who used to babysit John back then, had depression. It always confused little John back then. Having it now, up front and personal, felt different than how he'd imagined it.

Little John would never see the red head smile as he would ask her why. She'd reply with the same answer always," Because I'm broken John."

Little John would innocently ask, "Broken where?"

The lady pointed towards her head and towards her heart, "I'm broken in there. I can't fix it yet, but I hope to in time. You needn't worry about me. I'll be fine."

John smiled naively as he then walked off to bake cakes. He actually liked to make baked goods before he started to have a trauma against them.

A little later in that past, the Dad had hired a new babysitter suddenly as he went off to work. Little John had asked where Patricia was. Dad had a grim look when he bent down and put his hands around John's shoulders. Dad then questioned quietly, "Do you remember there was a lady who threw herself off the 5th floor at Food mart last week?"

John nodded. Dad sighed before he weakly said, "That was Patricia my son...I'm sorry."

John felt a hundred blows punch through his gut as he began to hyperventilate. Dad had crushed him with a hug as John hugged fiercely back.

And that was just about the closest understanding that John had about depression. That it eventually, "killed you" in spirit and in actual reality. John wasn't too worried since he was a God Tier. He wouldn't truly die if he did ever get to that breaking point. But...he didn't want to exactly push the boundaries. Like hypothetically, if he did try...to kill himself...could that be just or heroic? John couldn't imagine a situation where those two things would apply but he didn't want to try in the first place.

He knew he had depression though and he knew he was probably hallucinating the smog of darkness always lurking behind him. That could be the only reason he was the only one to see it.

But in the past few weeks, he began to be riddled with questions of his life. Quotes that rang deep within himself stating,

"Why are you alive? Why don't you just kill yourself? You're pathetic. You loser. Just die. No one needs you. No one really needs you."

And John was first surprised when he first mentally heard that. He had countered with a positive pep chat saying to himself, how ridiculous. He was loved. That it was a lie.

But those thoughts didn't stop. And John had to just brave each attempt that the depression tried to bring him down with his subtle persistence.

He had to get his act together before his vacation was over. It would soon be his turn to fix the brand new world. The door to the old universe was still open and he was given the job to look through the debris and see if there was a way to bring back the ghosts trapped in the bubbles or something like this.

That task was given to him since he had his nifty powers. And Jade would have been able to go with him, but since the green sun was brought to the new world, Jade could only use her powers in the new world then.

The game had ended by now and everyone resorted to pulling their weight and creating a wonderful universe. Though working on just a solar system was hard enough of a task.

John did answer messages for the most part in his spare time. The computer would stay on and it made him feel less lonely. He didn't get to sending messages for the most part. Everyone just kind of reported their daily lives to him in a subordinate like way. It did bother John at times, but he felt happy that even though he saw his friends flying around working hard, that they still gave him a time of day.

That was another reason why it just didn't feel right to kill himself.

For the most part, he was doing a really good job to continue to smile and fight playfully with his dad the days he was there. Dodging flying pies and pop tarts being thrown at him. It really was beginning to feel like old life back in the old world.

Dad was only trying to provide a nutritional snack to his son but John would always beg to differ as he'd scream, "Why can't breakfast ever be an apple or something? Why pastry goods DADDDDDD!"

Jane would come sometimes to see her family being truly silly and join in the fun by trying to convince John to get over his trauma over such delicious treats.

However this week, dad was gone the whole week since Jane came down with something of the flu. John said it was okay that he would stay. And so he kept playing with his game boy. It was when John smelled something peculiar in the air that it prompted him to stop.

John looked back forgetting that he'd see the ominous black thing but to his surprise...the black thing wasn't there!

John fought back the urge to yell triumphantly as he just took to shaking in happiness.

"It's GONE! That stupid bluhh is gone! I really was beginning to think it'd stay forever or something. Though...what is this smell?"

John whiffed the air a few more times then put down the game boy for good. He slipped into his hotdog like slippers, curtsey gift of Dave, and opened the door into the hallway.

The smell was more powerful as John finally understood what that smell was.

"Gas?"

John hurriedly floated down the stairs when he opened the kitchen door. He quickly held his breath as he shut the open Bunsen burners. He opened the windows very hastily as he started to blow out the wind with his powers. It was when he noticed the black smoke floating outside the window right in front of him that he paused.

" _What?_ What are you doing there? Why are you in front of me?"

The black smoke lit a small fire as John saw the air around him then ignite with a fiery blast.

John had managed to zap quickly out and hovered high above his house. The blast had burned him on his arms and legs a little as he was somewhat smoking.

John coughed heavily as he saw his house below catch on fire. John saw the black smoke still down below right outside the kitchen window. The Smoke then disappeared as John continued to cough. He then activated fierce windy powers and made a light tornado form right above his house. The tornado wasn't forceful and mighty. So what it did was take the fire out of the house and as John brought the tornado upwards, the fire eventually shut down and John dispelled the tornado. The tornado managed to rip off the trees near his house though as the trees then flung all over the place. Dirt had also taken to flying everywhere and it all just settled into this lovely mess.

John was surprised as he felt some kind of fierce desire to kick something.

He didn't think something like that could happen. The smoke thing had always reliantly stayed behind him without ever once making any moves. And now he knew the smoke could move away from him and actively do things.

This terrified him as his face turned 3 shades paler. He floated gently back down and settled on the grass looking towards his newly somewhat destroyed house and front yard. Black soot marred the tops of the windows as dirt was splattered all over the house.

It looked awful and John was at a loss of words. He didn't know what excuse he'd make to explain this. John was face palming when he realize he probably should have made a captchalogged copy of his entire house. Sort of as a safeguard or something.

Now he'd just have to resort to cleaning whatever mess was in there. That would have to be saved for later. It gave him more of a headache to think about the actual cleaning when he was stinging so much.

John laid on the grass calmly now, trying to relax the sudden endorphins that had activated from thinking and acting quickly on the spot. The skin on his arms and legs that were exposed stung deeply and had a reddish pink hue. He didn't want to itch it and prompted to thinking that taking a dip in the lake would be a good idea.

"Yeah...maybe I'll feel better then."

It was when John was getting up that he decided to turn his head around.

And lo and behold the black smoke was there lingering quietly as it always did.

John forcefully got up as he turned his whole self around and stared angrily at the smoke.

He declared, "I know what you can do I'm not stupid! You can move around at will! I KNOW this NOW! So I'm onto **you**. You don't need to feign that you can't move you anymore you stupid shit!"

The smoke remained silent as it always did.

John was quickly being fed up as he coughed again. He was starting to get sick by staring at it so intensely. So as John walked on past it he muttered to the black smoke, "You're not going to win. Whatever you have against me, you're not going to win. I'm not going to give into you."

The smoke turned to John as John jogged towards the lake and took the dip he needed. He dove right in with a splash as he submerged under water. Staying under, he slightly wondered why he didn't do that sooner. The water was at a wonderful temperature as John arose. He shock excess water off his hair as he sighed in deep relief. John felt like he was having a fever rise from consequence of staring at the smoke so much in one day. But as John looked back at the smoke, it wasn't there. John felt at peace in the vast lake then as he took to wadding around.

He saw the houses of Rose, Jade, and Dave's further away. He was mildly thinking what he was going to say when the other's would look out their windows and see the horrid mess that John's House was in. John was mildly surprised that no one had come flying over already.

"I guess...they are all not home and working. Really, when I need to see them they are not around. Though I can zap to them I guess. However...lately I don't know what to say to them. Maybe they've caught on that I've been down and that's the reason they've been messaging me everyday. But...I don't know. I guess...I just feel pathetic. This is pathetic. Ah shucks, it's the depression talking now. BLUH. Get away from me! I'm getting more confused now! I'm not even sure if that's smoke stupid's talk or mine anymore. I need help. I need help."

With this, John floated out of the water as he dripped immensely. It didn't bother him as much anymore. He took to floating back home when he realized midway there that the front door wasn't there and probably lying forsaken somewhere else in the yard. As he neared, he was surprised that the hinges had remained. At least that did stay.

As he floated into the living room, many things had been flown around. It truly looked like an intense disaster had occurred and it was quickly putting John very very down. He never really enjoyed cleaning and he was sure that was a trait that would never change.

Feeling feverish and just fed up with all this bullshit he plopped down on the soot covered sofa. It was the only thing that wasn't unturned. The glass table had broken as John turned very slightly to get a good look at his living room.

"God...this is sooooooo AWFUL. FUCK. And here I thought I had toned down that tornado pretty well. Sigh*"

John remained silent then as he realized he was feeling immensely tired. To take a nap in this situation was probably a stupid idea. But he couldn't fight off the tiredness anymore as he closed his eyes and drifted on into a wonderful slumber. There he forgot about the pain on his arms and his legs. Forgot about the mess that his house was in. And most of all, forgot that smoke thing was probably still there. And so he slept.

.

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 **Author Notes** : I really have no idea where this story is going. So it's going to be a splendid surprise for both you and me. ^\\\\\^


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes:** Italic is for inner thoughts and board messages and bold will tend to be the smoke I suppose. It's also dawning to me that because I have no direction in this story...I take so much time describing detail. I do hope you get to like it though. u\\\\\u Thank you.

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John awoke in the darkness wondering why there was a burnt smell in the air. He was really in a daze and wondered why he hadn't left the kitchen light on. He always left the kitchen light on for when he was in need of the snacks at random hours. So to be in full darkness confused him as he got himself upright. He yawned slightly when he realized his jaw hurt for some reason. His body was actually burning as he realized that he wasn't in his bed and this wake up wasn't the average sort of wake up.

What hit him first was the stinging he felt all around his body. His right hand felt his knees and his legs as he felt that his skin burnt very bitterly to the touch. He was wondering what the fuck had happened when images of what occurred started to slowly fill in the gaps.

"Ahhhh. Oh yeahhhh... _the bullshit._ The bullshit I went through today...that wasn't a dream? Wasn't it? _Aw."_

John got up stretching while he slowly dragged himself towards the light switch. He turned it on to only see nothing turned on. He looked up at the ceiling and squinted. The small cheap chandelier was not there and as he stared longer, he noticed the light bulbs were cracked.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh. Great another thing to fix...other than _myself?_ I really need some pain killers and toothpaste. I remember reading in a medical book in elementary school about survival skills. Apply toothpaste if burned. Hah. Never thought I'd need to use it at home. Always imagined maybe using such knowledge if I ever got lost in a forest or something."

John gingerly went to the kitchen and also flicked on the light. Nothing turned on. He swiveled around as he quickly went up the stairs while holding the railing and flicked on the hallway switch.

The light turned on.

"At last! Something works in hereeeeeeee. OMG. OMG. _What am I even looking at?"_

John steadily stared at his downstairs as he saw many things overturned. He did manage to find the chandelier which was poking out of the fireplace's mouth. Stacks of DVD's were flung about and he couldn't even look at the glass table anymore. That had been his dad's favorite and his eye twinges as he wondered how he was even going to explain this.

"Fucckkkkkkkkkk," John whined.

John decided to fix himself before starting to clean this mass destruction as he led himself into the bathroom. The light worked thankfully and thankfully the bathroom had been shut when that whole tornado scenario happened. He sighed in relief as he inspected the small bathroom. Perhaps it's compact size was what saved it from all the bullshit. He was so glad. As he turned on the faucet he realized that there was a lot of things actually going on his body. His hair was disheveled and smears of soot ran across his face. There was a slight cut on his cheek and lips as he wondered how that even got there. It didn't bleed that much so with a splash of water to his face and soap, he began to wash himself. After drying his face he opened the top of the toothpaste and squeezed slowly all over his arms and legs. His cheeks also got singed as he applied some there as well in slow circular motions. After finishing he couldn't help but crack a smile.

"I look so BADDD. If I knew this wasn't remedial, I swear this would be the type of silly shenanigans I'd be up to anyways. Just because~ Though the minty feeling is helping. I wonder if there is going to be a mark...or if my skin will peel? That's going to suck...everything sucks. Do I even need to explain anything to anyone then? That seems like it's just going to cause so much unnecessary meddling. Actually...why do I want to be alone? Don't I like everyone?"

John became still as he gingerly patted the towel on his hair...his concentration became lost as his eyes became a bit dull. He must had been lost in thought for 10 minutes when he realized that he was hungry. His stomach slightly mumbled taking him out of his stupor.

"Wah? Oh."

John realized where he was and wondered how he lost track of time. He knew it wasn't normal but he tried to act as if it didn't happen. He regained his optimism as he cheerfully said to himself, "WELL OKAY THEN! I'm going to...eat something! Ah, I hope the refrigerator is still upright?" John turned off the light as he walked to the storage space in the middle of the hallway. He opened it and was relieved that nothing really fell out or came out of place. He took a spare light bulb box and opened it. In his hands was such a beautiful unbroken thing. It sort of made him cry. He decided he'd float down for the rest of the way until he got into the kitchen. He saw how the light bulbs above were cracked as he untwisted them. He took 3 out as he let them all fall to the floor. The kitchen was already mess and adding more really wouldn't even make a difference. So he put in 1 light bulb just to check it out. He floated towards the switch and alas light filled the room temporarily.

John gave a victory smile as he found pride in the little things. Had he been truly logical about everything and how much he'd have to clean, he'd break down and cry. That was what in sense the smoke wanted but John wouldn't give in.

He chuckled as he began to scan the kitchen.

"Yep. Dad is going to kill me. His glorious office space has now been trashed. It's a good thing he loves me. Though I guess this will be the first place to clean... maybe if I clean it enough he won't notice."

John silently thought that how could no one NOT notice but he was trying to be chipper now. As he found the broom he swept the floor in singsong movement. He hummed Dirty Pop from Nsync as he swept more vigorously. He felt more pain with each movement but he saw that either way, sitting or moving burning and stinging sensations wouldn't stop. So fuck it.

"All thatttttt matterssss is that you RECOGNIZE it's allllll ABOUTTTT R-RESPECCCCTTTTT~"

"YOUR BODY STARTS TO ROCKKKKKK YOU CAN'T STOPPPPPPPP."

John stopped his awful singing while sweeping the last remnants of broken things into a corner at the right furthest point in the room. There he opened the cracked window and with his windy powers slowly brought the trash upwards and out the window. When that was done, he magiked the sponge that was lying ontop of the refrigerator now towards him. He felt it to see if it was wet and it was somewhat moist so he bent down and took the little bits that hadn't left the floor. He floated towards the sink, flicked on the U like faucet and wrung the sponge. It was then that an idea occurred to him.

"I never did that before...but I have nothing to lose. After I'm done cleaning the walls I'm getting some string cheese. Rewards are awesome."

He tried like the avatar air bending, to bend the water flowing out of the faucet. With his hands he picked up the falling water as he directed it towards the walls. It didn't really turn out how he imagined. He had imagined the water flowing slower and more to his liking. But as things actually happened, the water sort of jet then away from him in a hose like manner. He splashed fiercely the walls as he couldn't really care anymore. Puddles of water emerged quickly as it flooded the floor. He moved around to get all the soot off the walls as he turned on the faucet more on. It shot away from him faster as the soot began to unlatch itself from the white walls. John noticed he'd have to sponge the wall to really get it off. But at least for now, the water was making the soot more malleable.

With that he turned off the faucet and the last bits of water spurted outwards towards the floor. He was somewhat wet now but as the bullshit meter rose every hour, John just felt numb to all of it. He had gone through bigger things in the last universe so if this was a bad day then he could only say internally, "Bring it."

Though he did notice that he was slightly trembling once he was done. With that note, he air opened the refrigerators door open and looked at it. A lot of things had been moved around and John could only sigh more exasperatedly. He decided to forget about this and took the string cheese. He peeled the plastic off as he took quick bites into the stick.

After finishing it he felt much better and smiled weakly. He really was starting to feel something sick in his gut but he said he'd have to at least finish cleaning this ONE room.

After getting tons of towels from the cabinet near the bathroom and coming back down, he began to layer the towels on the floor until the floor was papered with towels. Then he painstakingly began to clean the wall with a sponge in each hand. There was a bucket next to him as he would wring both sponges at the same time. After an hour or so of work he was finally done with the messier part of this cleaning.

He swiped off some sweat from his forehead, due to the intense cleaning and the new coming fever he was rearing.

Truly, the kitchen was on it's hopeful way to looking how it did before the shitstorm happened. John only now had to put things back in order and throw the broken things away. As he moved the table back upwards and applied strong cleaners where the burning marks were still persisting he mumbled, "Dad is totally going to forgive me. Even, I'm forgiving me for all this bullshit. I really should have known sooner that the smoke was more than what it seemed. It really did make me scared but I never wanted to show it...I mean...I've seen such scarier things like my dungeon monster and other things. I just couldn't think...that it could actually take action by itself. How did I even sleep after now knowing that? HOW AM I EVEN GOING TO SLEEP AFTER KNOWING THIS? I COULD DIE! It could stab me or set my bed on fire. AHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. I really need to tell someone...but would they even be able to do anything? Maybe Rose can do some counter curse or something. Though...who gave it to me in the first place? What does it even want...from me? What does it even want?'

John steadied his stare at his hands as he looked a the bruises and burning. He really was in danger of dying. This black thing apparently could magic fire from nothingness and John would blow it out. But what happened was that the air was mixed with gas. Would the smoke thing recreate a situation like this again? And what if that did it with the friends that weren't God Tier? _Oh god._

John paled as he really was understanding the immensity of what could happen with this black thing. John took a peak back as he saw the smoke lingering there. John stuck out his tongue as he quickly looked away.

 _So it's still there... Ugh...I only looked at it for a second and I feel like I'm going to vomit. Too many times today. I can't look at it too much. Ugghhhhhh. I guess...if I stay away from anyone who isn't a God Tier that is okay. I'll have to consult the God Tier's first. They won't die if something happens...well they can...but dammit. I don't want anyone to die..._

 **Why don't you just die then?**

John stilled as he heard the smoke's talk. What made John upset was that it was his voice but much more harsher coming at him in his brain. He really wanted to stop hearing this ASAP.

 _John: Stop it! Leave me alone! Though I feel like you're still going to linger like the fucking stalker that you are..._

 _ **Smoke: I don't believe that can happen. You must die before I go.**_

 _John: Haha, so funny. Like legit can't stop crying about it. I can't really die even if you do manage to kill me...or me...if I manage to kill myself. You'll still lose._

 **Smoke: ...**

 _John: Ah, I see. Can't manage a comeback then? Good. I think I like you silent anyways._

 **Smoke: You will die.**

 _John: No I won't._

 **Smoke: You'll see.**

John looked extra pissed and with that shook his head. He got himself up as he turned his whole self around. He didn't see the smoke then and was happy he didn't. He really didn't want to deal with that anymore today. He'd have other days to deal with this.

John looked for the clock after he noticed that we was staring at a nail and the wall. The clock must have been flown around. He walked around until he found it lyring behind the refrigorator. How it got there he couldn't care. He was struggling to reach for it when he realized, duhhhh magic powers? He blew on it a little as it unstuck itself and fell out of place. John could take it then. He brought it back towards him when he realized that it was all broken. The glass encasing it was cracked horrible and the wood encasing it was bent.

However, John found it amazing that the clock was still ticking.

"Amazing. Dad depot does SELL sturdy things... though I always thought they put that adjective in to sell more things."

John saw in the dim lighting the clock say, "3:04 am."

"Kay... Ah...I really should sleep then. Though before I do. Make sure the Bunsen burners are really off. Good. And I should find the door. It really would be awful if anyone came over and saw the door not even there. They'd be all panicked and stuff. WHERE is the flashlight when you need it. Actually? Didn't Karkat give me a spare crab flashlight recently to captchalog?"

John checked his sylladex as he swiped over the files. Lo and behold after a couple of swipes there was the handy flashlight.

"Shit. I needed you before. AHHHH. Anyways!"

He clicked on it as it appeared in his hands. He pressed the button in the middle as it shone a radiant light. With that he walked out the kitchen and towards the outside. It was fairly dark as he wondered where the fuck the door could actually be. John saw across this large lake that the lights of Jade, Dave, and Rose's house were on.

"So they arrived home...that's good. I guess they can't see the state of my house right now in the darkness. Though they'll be pretty much laughing at me when they see the shit it is in the morning...or maybe they won't be laughing? Awww."

John moped a little bit at the thought as he realized he should send an alert message to let his friends now that the house is fine and so is he. He'd do that after he'd find the door. So he flew around darting like bee. The light shimmered over the grass as he found other things instead. He found a red pan that probably flew out during the tornado. He captchalogged it. He also found the popcorn maker and a whisk laying lazily on the grass. He captchalogged them as well. After flying around for 30 minutes or so, he realized he wouldn't be finding the door right now. So he raised the give up flag and sluggishly floated back home. He found some chalk on the living room floor as he got an idea.

John promptly came back outside the entrance and scribbled in chalk next to the door, "I'm Fine. Don't worry. Had House problems. Will Explain."

John finished with scribbling the "n" as he felt rather proud of himself. Sure he'd have to clean this as well in due time. But if someone came over while he was sleeping, he'd definitely want no one panicking.

After recalling all the hard work everyone was putting in, his fuckery really didn't need to impose on anyone. John lazily left the chalk on the grass as he floated finally back to his room. He hadn't gone back to it and was somewhat distressed. Was it a mess like the rest of his house? Should he even dare checking his dad's room? John felt escalating dread as he came nearer and nearer his room door.

If he didn't know any better he thought he was hearing the "Sealed Door" song from the game called Chrono Trigger.

 _Kinda wished it was a sealed door now... o_ooooooo_

With a gentle turn to the right he held the doorknob and slowly pushed it opened. The door creaked open quietly as he studied what he could see in the darkness. His room unfortunately had both windows open...as he noted magazines and school stationary cluttered on the floor.

"Shit."

John stepped in flicking on the light. It turned on as he really saw that his room wasn't in that bad of shape. The movie posters had for the most part stayed. Just one looked ripped in half. Had John been the nerd he was before the game he was sure he'd cry. As he looked onwards at it, he only felt a small pang in his heart.

"I can... _fix_ that with tape...probably..."

John walked in to then see the biggest surprise.

It was his computer. His computer was now on the floor and broken. John definitely found himself screaming as he rushed towards it.

Had this been a movie scene, John would definitely be the lover running into the arms of his dying beloved. John's lip was quivering as he tried to turn the computer upright.

Maybe it was just the screen that was busted? That hopefully everything still worked?

John prayed intensely as he turned on the monitor button. Thankfully the gods seemed to still like him somewhat as the screen flickered on. John cried happily as he hugged his computer. He turned on the power then next and it hummed on.

John wanted to kiss his computer for being so badass and strong as shit but he stopped as he realized..."Kissing a broken screen was probably dumb. Cut lips and stuff."

John laughed as he realized the computer automatically loaded the last page he was on. John stared through the broken screen as he saw he had a lot of unanswered messages. Apparently everyone messaged him or something. John could only begin to wonder as what he would say. He decided to click on the blinking chum that sent the most messages which was Karkat.

John opened the chat.

 _Karkat: JOHN, DAVE AND I HAVE SOME TIME OFF TONITE. COME OVER DAVE'S PLACE AROUND 8 IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN. WHICH I WOULD SCREAM TO YOU, YOU SHOULD, BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE PLAYING A PRETTY AWFUL GAME ON HIS XBOX ABOUT BASKETBALL AND TERRORS. LIKE REALLY WHO THE FUCK EVEN CAME UP WITH YOUR GAMES IN YOUR WORLD? WERE THEY ALL RETARED? ANYWAYS IT'S GOING TO BE PRETTY AWFUL WITH JUST US DWEEBS. SO I NEED YOU TO COME ALONG AND EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I CAN BEAT DAVE WITH THE THING CALLED DUNKS. APPARENTLY YOU GET 20 POINTS EXTRA WHEN YOU DO IT AND DAVE WILL BE CREAMING ME IF I DON'T MASTER SUCH A MOVE. SO GET OVER HERE. ALSO WE HAVE PIZZA. AND NO BAKED GOODS. SO YOU ARE IN THE CLEAR. GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE LOSER. THAT IS ALL._

John rolled his eyes as he understood what game Dave and him were playing. Dave was just awfully awesome at it and even to John it would be a hard time. John chuckled as he realized Karkat didn't know what dunk meant. Then again there were always still bridges in the common knowledge that still needed to be filled between what the trolls knew and what humans knew.

John stopped laughing as he realized he was getting a headache. He rubbed his cheek when he realized that toothpaste smudged all over it.

"Wait I still had that on?" John noticed he was still damp after blasting what seemed a waterfall in his kitchen. He really needed to change clothes. John didn't want to challenge the smoke in the shower so he'd shower later on today.

John picked himself off the floor and took off his damp clothes. He changed into a new set of boxers and a long hoodie. When the hoodie's made contact with his burnt skin he ached.

"Tsk. _Ahhhhhh_."

John stopped midway wondering if he should even go further. His skin was screaming pain as he quickly took it off and threw it across the room. He huffed as if he had beaten some monster even though it was just his plain emerald green hoodie which really had not done anything wrong except exist.

John looked at himself as he saw the toothpaste peppered all over his skin. It really looked likehe just got in a tub of toothpaste and had a jolly ol time except that was stupid and he knew how stupid he now looked.

 _Sighhhhhh*_

He took to wipe it off with the tissues he had lying around. After taking it off he examined his arms and legs. They looked pretty bad. Luckily the skin didn't bubble and just looked permanently pink. He was surprised that his arm hair had burnt off. He really was so close to dying that time. It was lucky he zapped 1 second or so away from being truly engulfed. That thought scared John as he stopped looking at himself. He was aching all over and couldn't pinpoint where to begin. He was slightly upset when he realized that Jane's powers of heal wouldn't work.

Her powers could only heal mortal wounds and things like this would remain there. John looked at the ceiling sort of pissed since he knew that was such bullshit and at least healing powers should cover all the basic necessities. Then again if that actually had been, Jane would have healed herself quickly when she was coming down with the flu.

"Damn," John whispered.

In a way, his body hurt more than being stabbed through the chest. At least being stabbed was one concentration of pain. But this pain was all over now as his blood throbbed more forcefully.

John decided to just switch into another T-shirt instead and carefully as to not irritate even further his burns.

He was then wearing a yellow shirt with a duck eyes and beak on it. This was the softest shirt he had as well as the most ironic. So with that he went back to the computer and decided to answer Karkat.

 _John: hey! sorry about answering so lateee. i had...some things to damage control over here. hahahahaha..._

 _um...anyways thanks for the invite. i'm sure i would have gone but...things happened. bluhhh. hopefully you got to beating Dave this time? dunk feature happens when you hold down r button and press "a" twice fast with finally the b button. it's a little hectic the first time you do it, but definitely keep at it. and um...just don't come over right now. like i'm actually going to say please. please don't come over right now. you can tell Dave that he can since he's god tier. and no i'm not being biased right now...i just...have something's to deal with the god tier people right now...yeah...anyways i do hope to see you soon! bye Karkat_

John clicked enter as he saw his message pop up on the board. John saw the other blinking chum popup as he saw it was Dave who messaged next. He clicked the tab open.

 _Dave: Yo my ultimate homeslice. We are having a get together tonight so that's the deal. Come over at 8pm standard whatever time we really are existing in, and make yourself at home. Sorry for not seeing you in like two weeks. Really, Vriska and Kanaya make you work hard. But the trolls are doing a pretty good part in ordering us around. Seriously, we need to regain out backbones and say HUMANS ON TOP. or something. But for the most part I like what I'm doing with Dirk and Jake. We're like controlling the fertility of the soil since the soil is still shit at growing things. I mean, at least we got the water levels down but all that salt water fucked everything. Really. You were tonked out when we doing that but things are steadily getting better. More green is growing and that means better ecosystem. I'm hoping we can grow apple trees though... you see we regrettably don't have apple seeds! Like what is that? Am I going to have to live a life of never seeing another apple juice filled cup appear before me ever again? Such a thing cannot continue to still be. So I'm also at the lab trying to find the right code for apple. It's really hard actually John. Like you wouldn't believe. Maybe you can help me out when you're done Vking. I'm not up for vacation time yet though you really wouldn't understand how jealous we are for you vacationing right now. You and Gamzee HAD to land the last blows huh? Sigh* Ah Karkat is pestering me about the oven turning off. Pizza is getting READDDDYYYYYYY. Plus we have nachos. Jade made them! And they are pretty good. I'm glad that at least someone had the decency of learning to make their own versions of our old treasures of food before everything went extinct. Like I wish I had a kitkat bar...It's too sad john. It's just too sad. Anyways, you're not answeringggggggg...and all your lights are offf...did you go somewhere? Or did you go to sleep like the weenie you are? Nahhh I say. Nahhh. Get over when you can or at least answer. Totes not cool leaving a bro hanging John. We've discussed this. No we haven't but we should if you stop answering sometimes for no reason at all. Bye._

John was somewhat imaging Dave and Karkat eat the delicious pizza and nachos before him. He swept away newly forming tears as he wondered why he hadn't participated in such a wonderful night. He might be depressed somewhat but he still wouldn't pass up a night of pizza and nachos. That he still had the stomach for.

John answered:

 _John: heyyyyy Dave! I'm really sorry i didn't get to see this before. i was...a bit preoccupied by some other stuff. i actually need to talk with you about something. i mean...i wanted to talk with you about this before...but...i don't know...lately i'm just kind of depressed and it's over silly things too! i just feel...out of place like...i don't belong in time or anywhere anymore...your john died and you and everyone died from my timeline...so...i guess...i'm still hung up ...about that. I'm...sorry. but i wanted to get this off my chest! and wow do I feel better already! kind of. actually i'm in a lot of pain right now and no not the metaphorical pain. but legit actual pain. tons of shit happened today. i can't even begin. but if you'd like, only you and rose and jade and to all the other god tiers can come over. i'm...dealing with something...that i'm not sure...with how TO DEAL? anyways! can you come over at 10 am or something? I'm sure i'll be up by that time since i don't think i can sleep through my pain actually. ugghhhhhhhhh. but don't come over now! just later...in the morning. you'll see what i mean by that. goodnight Dave. and yeah...even if you did come these past 2 weeks, i don't think you would have wanted to talk with me. i didn't even want to talk with me. yeah. soooooo night._

John looked at his paragraph through the cracks before he hit send. He was really tempted to delete certain parts like the part about not feeling at home and out of place but he kept it there. After hitting enter again he decided to message Rose. She had sent a message as well as he read it. It was rather short thankfully because John was beginning to nod off.

 _Rose: John._

 _Rose: John._

 _Rose: John._

 _Rose: John? John I need to talk to you. Since this is the 4th message I've sent to you it seems as if you're hung up on something? Short story, I need you to take a day off your vacation and meet with me and Roxy. We're having some issue with your dungeon monster. Your world is pretty alright for the most part and everyone else's world is alright as well. It's in the 2nd orbit of this new earth solar system. Just lately, your dungeon monster has been acting up. Perhaps you can talk with it and understand what is the cause for its agitation? It's been scaring all the lizard people and the fireflies flew away towards Jade's world. They are being eaten by the frogs so it's a bit of a hassle actually. A very big hassle. For the most part Roxy's been voiding the frogs and placing them into other locations. It's already been the 2nd day and things will probably get worse. So if you can meet me at my place at 12? That would be the best. Roxy is staying over and she's been wanting to see you too. So really it would be a good thing if you showed up. And if you don't, I will track you down myself and pick you up and fly you to your world. Sorry if that is coming across a little mean but if you'd see my face...you'd understand. John, ...I also hope you are well...sorry for not visiting so much._

 _..._

 _Rose: ... So I'll see you...tomorrow? Get back to me when you're free._

John answered briskly.

 _John: whoaaaaa, you'd pick me up and drag me to my world if you had to? don't worry. i can zap us there instead. less flying mileage. and weren't those portal things working? couldn't we use that instead? also I'm sorry to hear that. my monster really is a bothersome one? wondered who picked and gave me that one? so bothersome. and i wouldn't mind...this would take off my mind off of some things...that are bothering me. i actually messaged Dave about the matter? i need to talk to you both and probably Jade too. i'd bring in the other God Tier's as well but that's even a bigger meeting than i really want to make right now. you said Roxy is there too? well, she can be invited too. say hi to her for me. and okay, i'll be at your house at 12! actually...when you wake up in the morning and look out your window...don't be alarmed. my house...just went through...some..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _renovation thing. i'll talk to you about that while we go see what is up with the monster. and...when you see me...just...try not to worry. i'm okay. though saying this right now may actually ignite worry? really though don't. i'm a trooper. though i'm really in over my head. ahh. asjaljsajsjalksjasn, we'll talk about this...later. kay. thank you for messaging. so sorry about not answering sooner. bye rose._

John hung his head as he finished sending that message. The other tabs were still blinking but he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. It must be like 4 am or something he gathered. So with this he shut off the computer and floated softly towards his bed. His comforter was on the other side of the room but he really didn't care. As he sunk into his bed the burning ignited as he rolled around very gently. He took off his glasses as his blue eyes wore immense tiredness and pain. He was actually pretty surprised with how calm he was about everything. Truly he was being too considerate about all this bullshit. But he didn't want to find himself becoming depressed. He knew it was there. It just needed a budge to turn into something bigger. And he didn't want that. Depression made you do things you wouldn't normally do. John thought of his baby sitter. Patricia the red head with kind eyes. She never did smile but John always felt safe and calm with her. How could someone like her who had been trying to get back into college then suddenly pick one day to kill herself? John closed his eyelid's bitterly as he felt very sad. He never got to go to the funeral since dad didn't want to see him any sadder. Though looking now in retrospect, that would have at least shut the chapter on that book. Didn't help to think that everyone else was also dead from that time. Patricia just had a head start- was all.

John's thoughts lingered more on her sweet and sad face as he saw a memory. Little John was behind her as she was frying grilled cheese on the stove. And John now watched, how little him would happily bounce up and down in a dorky way while he blew at steam wafting in the air. Such simple times became such clear memories. Crystal clear, as he saw his little self giggle when Patricia set the done sandwiches on a plate and gave one to John. John would bite in quickly to only fan his mouth. That was probably the only times John remembered seeing Patricia smile. As she would quickly serve John a fresh cup of milk and say, "Not too quickly. Eat in small bites. That way the flavor can be honored by your mouth. Even flavor wishes to stay a little longer."

John suddenly had the urge for grilled cheese. Though he was feeling pretty hurt by the Bunsen burner's already. Didn't want to go back in the kitchen anytime soon. Out of pissed of reasons.

John knew where he should put his anger towards. Black smoke of hell or whatever. It was that which needed hating. John just couldn't understand how the smoke deflected all of John's anger. It was as if it were unfeeling. Cold and calculating...but John couldn't even begin to understand if it had a thought process. Though he knew for sure this smoke did want to hurt him. He didn't want to be hurt. Not anymore than what he already was. The smoke seemed to have won today on that front after John vaguely remember how he looked like when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror. Hair awry, cheeks and lips cut, bruises all over, baggy eyes and skinnier for the most part. It had only been a week since he last saw his dad and there already such a difference. It bothered him. It really did as John turned over to the other side of the bed. He didn't really want to turn off the light now. He'd leave it on. John felt a fever rising as he mentally slapped himself for not taking any painkillers or medicine in the end. He was too lazy to get up now. After all the cleaning and spinning around in the kitchen...and he never found that door...John then frowned. Losing the door actually bothered him. However, pondering about it would mean nothing at this hour so he decided to get to sleep. He didn't think he would be able to, after being in so much pain but he amazingly knocked out to sleep.

Back at Dave's place, his apartment was now only 2 floors. It looked as if the building itself had been sliced like a slice of cake and then put on grass. Though the way Rose did it, it looked pretty good. Dave even had flamingo like plastic sculptures lining up the entrance to his abode. It was pretty lame but also ironic. Karkat was already sleep in the other room as Dave woke up to take a whizz in the bathroom. He was about to head off to sleep when he decided to check his phone.

"Oh...John did answer. What took him so long?"

Dave opened the message board as he read quietly. Dave didn't have his glasses on as he stopped skimming midsentence. He reread the last paragraph or so to really understand what he was half reading.

 _"i don't know...lately i'm just kind of depressed and it's over silly things too! i just feel...out of place like...i don't belong in time or anywhere anymore...your john died and you and everyone died from my timeline...so...i guess...i'm still hung up ...about that. I'm...sorry"_

Dave's eyebrow rose a little as he prodded to reading the rest of the paragraph. For the most part, John sounded pretty much the same. He couldn't help but feel unsettled. There was something off about the way John was typing. Like a...hesitation.

It's true Dave hadn't been the best bro lately since he was off doing tons of things. He and Karkat had been talking to each other more but only because they wanted to give John his space. When John woke up from his 2 month coma, it always did seem like John was a bit off. Like he was forcing himself or something. But Dave was sort of taking it personally and was just waiting for John to be the one and say forthright what was the matter. However, it finally did come though he didn't really expect it to be this.

It was true that there were now discrepancies in both their memories. Certain things he had bonded with the John of his timeline didn't rollover to this new John. Even though John had explained that technically _he_ was the new Dave or something like this. John had been normal for the most part in the last universe. And Dave had been worried after the last explosion of defeating the final boss. He was the first one to get to John and when John didn't respond he was flipping many shits. Rose and others were able to come quickly and see that John's life wasn't in danger. Just, he didn't wake. Other's had finally come to see as well the outcome and most did celebrate the fact that everything was over now. That Calliborn had been killed and the Troll Queen. Everyone was injured and John only had slight cuts. So it really put everyone in a worry why he didn't wake up. Jade was the one in the group who had been shaking John more because she had issues with John sleeping. John had died on her on the ship towards this new universe. So to see John down again really was making her very very hysterical. Dave had to let go of John to hug her to stop. She stopped struggling and cried. It was a pretty tough emotional time. Everyone was beat and so Roxy was the one to open the door to our reward.

 _We all sort of expected that job to be done by John but as Terezi carried him, we were all just happy that the crap was over. We won. John...after he woke and literally screamed our ears off blabbering about a black thing hovering above us...and how there was NOTHING there... he never really looked at us the same. He still smiled that goofy smile whenever we saw him when we took our breaks. He waved us goodbye and smiled. If anything it is true he did was more quieter about things. And he was always the first to message you but now...well, at least he always answers his messages. He was...taking this vacation rather to himself...but wow. He felt like that? Come on dude, you got to place some more trust in us. After everything we've been through, jeez John. And what does he mean...he's in pain? Is he okay? Did he fall down the stairs or something? He would do that. He really oughta look more where he's a walkin. And why doesn't he want me to come over at night? Wait._

Dave was wearing his puppet shorts and scoop sleeveless red shirt. He got up and headed over his window. He opened the blinds just a little bit to see John's house. It looked...fine. His kitchen light and room light was on like usual. He really couldn't see anymore than that because it was so dark.

Dave almost wanted to float on over but as he slid the window open, it was kind of chilly. He closed it shut and decided to heed John's words of seeing him in the morning instead.

Dave crawled back into his queen size bed and put the cover softly on him. He set his phone down on the coffee desk next to him as he looked up at his dark ceiling.

"John...what is bugging you? Other than...feeling out of place? I too...feel out of place. But you're still my bro. Though I was too flabbergasted when we first met. Like I couldn't believe you were actually here. For the most part of our journey, I never even saw you... though we talked all the time. And even then, I never saw you. And even now I don't see you. Really, that has got to stop. I'll personally make that stop. We're being so stupid. John...hope you can get some sleep then...I'll see you. And I'll bring Karkat too. Even though you said to not? Hmmmmm."

Dave hummed as he felt the tiredness come brimming in. He'd surely...set John straight with the obvious facts that he is still his best bro. He would surely do that at 10 am and boy was 10 am coming in fast too. Dave still felt tired so he quickly tried sleeping and sleep did he get.

.


	3. Chapter 3

.

Karkat was the first to wake as he woke with a mad hunger for leftover food.

Before he met the humans and was forced to live with them, he didn't think about eating anything old. In his world, the fresher the food of the hunt, the better. But after discovering the wonder in leftover food, he had something wondrous to look forward to every morning and everyday.

Karkat smiled sheepishly as he imagined the leftover pizza sliding slowly into his mouth and taking that first gorgeous bite into the tomato-y cheese gooiness- all in the moment he went downstairs. So not suppressing himself any further, he got himself up and cleaned off the goo hanging on his clothing rather quickly. He patted the excess green slime on his chin with a small towel he always had nearby. After putting it away back into his sylladex, he took off his clothing to change into another pair of the same exact clothing he was wearing- by his bedside. The usual black long sleeved shirt and grey pants. He was a simple troll who lived by simple means. Even though he would comply to wear other things that Kanaya and Rose would make for him. But since we just crashing at Dave's house, what he wore didn't matter.

He had slept in his troll bed which was a spare in his sylladex. He did sometimes sleep in human beds and couches, but since the chemistry in his skin was different, he needed to give his skin the necessary nutrients every now and then.

Karkat put his bed back in the sylladex as he put on the crab slippers he had by the door. He was going to wake Dave up, but still feeling the ultimate burns of his smack down in the game yesterday- he was thinking revenge by eating all the pizza slices. He would go further and eat the nachos too but he had pale feelings for Dave and didn't want to be that much of a prick.

"DAMN. HE DOESN'T DESERVE THOSE NACHOS. THOUGH BECAUSE HE WON SO HARD MAYBE BE DOES? AHH."

Karkat walked into Dave's room while still rubbing his eyes. After seeing Dave so into REM, he decided it best he'd wake up the kid when he was done with breakfast. Karkat shuffled quietly back into the hallway and went downstairs towards the kitchen. He didn't bother reheating the pizza as he took the whole tray out of the refrigerator and brought it to the living room. After setting the tray on the round wooden coffee table in front of the lilac sofa, and sat himself down, he prepared for the heavenly reunion of the pizza and his mouth. The moment of silent admiration was rather short as he stopped admiring the pizza and began wolfing them down one by one. He faintly wondered who this wonderful messiah had been, the inventor of the Pizza's. It struck Karkat odd why he hadn't bothered to bring up that question already, since it was of very important matters.

Karkat was eating the 7th slice before be halted. A flash of John's dorky face appeared before his eyes and disappeared.

 _John. He's a human too isn't he? He probably likes the Pizza. So I should save him some slices. Then again, he did not show up and thus didn't help me win at all. That dweeb. Did he answer actually?_

Karkat took out his phone from his pant pocket as he saw a flashing tab with Johns name on it.

 _So he did. Let's see what your lame excuse was._

 _[John: hey! sorry about answering so lateee. i had...some things to damage control over here. hahahahaha..._

 _um...anyways thanks for the invite. i'm sure i would have gone but...things happened. bluhhh. hopefully you got to beating Dave this time? dunk feature happens when you hold down r button and press "a" twice fast with finally the b button. it's a little hectic the first time you do it, but definitely keep at it. and um...just don't come over right now. like i'm actually going to say please. please don't come over right now. you can tell Dave that he can since he's god tier. and no i'm not being biased right now...i just...have something's to deal with the god tier people right now...yeah...anyways i do hope to see you soon! bye Karkat]_

Karkat looked at the message and with that was like, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONLY GOD TIERS? I'D HAVE BEEN A GOD TIER TOO IF I COULD BUT I COULD NEVER GO TO SLEEP AND WHEN I FINALLY DID, EVERYTHING BROKE IN THE WORST WAY EVEN IMAGINABLE BY ABSOLUTE DIPSHITS. AND I FOUND OUT ALREADY ABOUT THE DUNKING FEATURE. WELL, AT LEAST YOU GAVE ENOUGH OF A SHIT TO REPLY BACK. THOUGH I'M TOTALLY COMING OVER RIGHT NOW JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID NOT TO."

With that, Karkat took off his slippers and went to put on his sneakers which were by the door. He left the door semi open to let Dave know he was going ahead. It was then when Karkat remembered to bring the last slice of pizza for John that he went back inside grumbling. He took out a plastic bag from the drawer and put that sucker right in. Now that he was back in the house, he decided he'd right a note to Dave. On Dave's refrigerator there was a eraser board and so Karkat scribbled with the red marker hanging beside it,

"JERK, MY BELOVED, WENT TO JOHN'S EARLY SINCE YOU'RE STILL OUT COLD LIKE A LIGHT BULB FOREVER BROKEN AND NEVER ABLE TO REACH WARMTH EVER EVER AGAIN. BYE.

P.S I ATE ALL THE PIZZA FOR REVENGE REASONS. DEAL WITH IT. BYE."

Karkat was tempted to erase the Bye again since he had already stated it but he was already going out the door and striding past the flamingo sculptures with perfect grace.

He was feeling all awesome for taking in good food and he had already decided that he'd take his drink at John's place since John owed him in someway- for never arriving.

The walk was only 15 minutes or so, as Karkat had wished at times he'd code a thing at the lab for a motorbike or something so he could travel terrain easier. It always miffed him how God Tier's could just float on to wherever they wanted. It was like walking was then an "extra" for them. But for Karkat, it was very much still the only and ideal way of getting to places.

Karkat mumbled under his breath, "WHY THE FUCK DID JADE MAKE SUCH A FUCKING BIG LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THESE DWEEBS HOUSES? COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN A POND OR SOMETHING? IT'S TAKING ME SO LONG TO GET TO HIS HOUSE EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR ALL THIS TIME. SHIT. IT LIKE NEVER GETS SMALLER. IF ONLY...I COULD FLY. ALAS. FUCKINALASDAMMIT. AH FINALLY...OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHATTTTTTTT?"

Karkat slowed his walking as he started to see the true detail of John's abode. Tree roots hung pathetically off the ground as the tree logs themselves were scattered like poor suckers all over the once beautifully cut grass. Patches of grass had been ripped, as it left a checker boarded mess of holes stretching for miles. The house didn't look any better.

Black soot colored the top rims of the windows. The windows themselves were smudged completely black and cracked. As he looked upwards, the roof was torn in half and many tiles were seemingly just not there. Karkat's heart speed up. For every second he kept examining the disaster, he couldn't contain his dreadful worry any longer. In the back of his mind he knew John was a God Tier. That he would be okay. But as his mind showed him, even though they were immortal in some sense, they could still get hurt and had to deal with it like everyone else. Karkat knew John never left the house after arriving in this new universe. Even when he woke up from the makeshift infirmary, he took to staying at his house. He never left it- not even once. No wait, he was wrong there. The only time he did _leave_ , was during the first week he woke up and wanted to see all the work everyone had done in all the worlds. After that, John remained in his house never faltering to leave. So if John was still behaving like he usually did, that meant that John was still inside despite it all.

This froze Karkat's blood as he began to run very hard towards the house.

He began to text John while running, "JOHN! ARE YOU OKAY? JOHN!? YOU FUCKER ANSWER ME DAMMIT. DAMMIT!"

Karkat who had been zig zagging around the gaping holes in the ground, some that stretched far and wide and some small, had miscalculated when he hit the send button on his crab phone. His laces got stuck in a root that was above ground. As he pulled his left foot forward after hitting "send", he felt himself losing balance and began falling down. However, he had been about to jump over a hole at that very same instance and instead was descending into it instead. He didn't have time to scream as he fell right on through and hit the dirt pile below with a loud WHACK. He reeled his head back as he quickly placed his hand over his nose which was now profusely bleeding and dripping all over his shirt and pants.

"THIIIIIIIIIITTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOLY MOTHER OF GLOB SHIT FRITS BEYOND ALL GLORY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK."

He deeply cringed as he began to crouch forward in utter pain. He kept cursing really loudly as he grabbed onto the dirt for more support while nursing his newly demented nose. It didn't help to look mildly upwards to see that the hole he lovingly decided to fall into- was deep as fuck and he wouldn't be able to climb out. "Wouldn't" wasn't in his dictionary however, as he took his hand away from his nose, blood streamed downwards his chin and past towards his collar of his shirt, and made notion to climb the walls of the hole.

Despite his all present pain and the throbbing in his head, he was still vexed about John. He began to claw at the dirt mound and tried to stubbornly climb his way up. He made it halfway when his legs buckled and couldn't push forward. He found himself slipping downwards as he fiercely tried again to climb. Unfortunately, he lost balance and fell backwards into the dirt as he found himself cursing so loudly now that if a priest was even in the vicinity or if there were even still priests at all, he'd faint from the screeching.

Karkat was so frustrated with himself that he punched the sky very miserably.

It didn't even matter that the day was so fucking beautiful.

The blue sky was so crisp and deep it just elegantly and unfeelingly looked down upon him without a worry. Karkat stopped cursing as he brought up his sleeve back to his nose. He was still bleeding and was starting to feel lightheaded. That was when he heard a "Are you okay" ring from above. The sun was dazzling so he had to squint to see who it was that was momentarily above him and casting a shadow. The figure moved forward as the person floated downwards to where Karkat was miserably laying.

John floated downwards in a oversized emerald green pullover jacket that was so huge on him that it ended at his knees. He was wearing his yellow shoes and mismatching socks and hopefully wearing shorts too, though we could not see. The hoodie was over his head as it only showed small tufts of messy and wavy jet black hair. John' glasses were cracked as he came slowly downwards inspecting the hurt troll before him.

John landed gently beside Karkat as he worriedly asked in a feeble and wry voice, "K-Karkat...w-what EVEN happened to y-you? I heard you screaming like the Dickens which was r-really alarming! At first, I thought it was the s-smoke again! SO I literally magiked my Zillyhoo and launched it behind me- making a huge gaping hole through my bedroom wall! Thankfully the Zillyhoo landed near here so...I found you now instead...I guess? Though...there's apparently another new feature in my house...bluhhh...:B You're looking pretty bad there...let me carry you up."

Karkat was stunned to see John so abruptly that he really was at loss for words. All his worry was really misplaced as he kept on looking at those piercing blue eyes. His mind wasn't really registering anything else but the shock of now not knowing what to do with all the pent up worry. Had he taken the initiative to say anything back, it probably would have been, "AND YOU LOOK PRETTY BAD YOURSELF," but he would save that for later.

Karkat only nodded as he gently got himself upright. He swayed a little bit as he realized that his shirt was so inundated with blood that it looked like a bad Halloween trick gone wrong. John didn't hesitate as he gently hugged Karkat tightly. Karkat was surprised but he managed to hug him back in time, as John started ascending upwards and out of the hole. Instead of leaving Karkat on the grass, John ascended even higher and began to float, while still hugging Karkat, towards his room. There was a gaping hole in his wall now which made it easier to enter his house. John wasn't really too keen in having Karkat enter through his living room since it was a embarrassing disaster. At least his room, for the most part, looked somewhat okay. Just the broken wall kind of ruined it. But hey, new entrance John thought positively.

John coughed a bit off and on as he flew towards his room. He really was trying his best to look calm as ever, but the screaming really had put him in a fright. He thought he was being attacked by the smoke and so the rush of adrenaline was still kicking in his veins. It was almost too much since he still had a fever and was prizing many bruises and burns under his jacket. A lot of John's skin had peeled off as the skin that remained was cracked and open. His skin was raw and wet and stinging with the might of a thousand furious bees. So while hugging Karkat in midflight, John had to suppress the will to scream since he was in so much pain from holding or touching anything. He definitely wasn't the one to complain for his pain just as much as Dave hid his emotions behind his glasses. So for now, while hugging Karkat, he brave faced and was just taking events as they unfolded.

Karkat was quiet as he realized that while hugging back John, how _skinny_ John actually was. He never did end up hugging John too much, but...he had hugged Dave a ton of times to know what was the normal waist size. As Karkat looked at the shadow they both casted off in the neon colored grass below, he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Just HOW skinny _was_ John? Was that _even_ normal?

Karkat remained quiet as he hugged John tighter to get a better feel. John chuckled half heartedly as he weakly whispered, "Ah. Hmmmm. D-don't w-worry Karkat...I'm n-not going to drop you, you know. You don't...need to hug s-s-so tightly."

John sort of expected a response but Karkat remained very quiet as he tried to understand how small John suddenly was. They had hugged only but a month ago when John first woke up from his coma. And now...and now...Karkat could only keep his mouth shut. He didn't know whether to start screaming at John in worry because he literally made Karkat lose 9 lives during his run-trekking through the maze of holes in the front yard, or to scream very angrily at John for hiding something from him.

He had thought they were good friends after all the shit that happened up to this point.

John had never concealed anything before...and now...the person Karkat was hugging didn't feel like John at all. John was happy and healthy...not this John who was skinny and hiding his eyes under unexplained broken glasses and an oversized looking dress of a jacket. John rolled his eyes as he finally put Karkat down on the floor of his room. John suddenly realized that perhaps his room was also not the best place to have brought someone as he took notice of new additions. Like the cracked wall, the busted up desk and most of all his bed. John looked quickly at his bed as he became white. He had forgotten to put the cover on it when he was hastily woken up and flew out of his room.

Blood stains and skin lay on the mattress as well as a bunch of soot and dried flakes of toothpaste. John blushed very hard as he quickly went to the opposite side of his room, picked up his comforter, and covered his bed with it. The action was a little too late but John felt much better hiding it than just leaving it there to be revealed for all the world. It was a nasty sight.

Karkat remained silent as he did manage to see the gross state the bed was- as he began to pale. Karkat wasn't sure if it was from the blood loss or from what he just saw.

 _Blood? Black ash? Was that...skin? What even happened there?_

John picked up his old yellow shirt off the ground as he offered it to Karkat while saying, "Here. I don't like this shirt anymore...so you can use it to press on your nose. You r-really have to press hard to make the bleeding stop. You look really pale...please just press it on your nose already."

Karkat automatically took the shirt from John's hand and pressed it gingerly on his nose. John quickly got a chair that was overturned and placed it behind Karkat- so that Karkat could sit down. John hesitated to look at Karkat as Karkat sat himself and steadily looked at the carpeted floor intensely as if pensive and yet angry thought.

Everything was quiet for a long time as John just stood there not sure what to even do.

John had meant to make another pair of glasses in his machine before he flew out to inspect the screaming. When he woke up from the frightful sounds of Karkat's screaming, he had grabbed for his glasses so quickly and so fiercely that it crushed within his grip. He was still half asleep when he magiked the ZillyHoo and chucked it at the wall behind him while roaring, "LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEE!"

It was only after his hammer made intense impact, that it really woke up John from his half sleep. The noise of the impact made a soft crashing echo in his room as it mildly vibrated the floor. He watched, in slow motion, the hammer fall away from him towards his front yard with huge chunks of the wall trailing behind in a majestic sort of manner. A gust of wind was blowing at the time ruffling his hair and jacket. John could only remain in utter awe for the stupid thing he half knowingly did.

Meanwhile, all this time that he kept staring at the new gaping hole on his bedroom wall, John couldn't see shit so he quickly put on his glasses despite it being cracked and bent. As he looked through them his mind was sending him triggers towards the new stinging downwards towards his hands. As he lifted them up, he realized that his hand was cut in many places.

 _Really...gotta control my reflexes there. Damn._

John didn't have much time to contemplate as the screaming noise didn't still stop and he quickly wanted to inspect that. John had wanted to quickly make another pair of glasses to get a better sense of what he was looking at or for but his senses sensed the escalating pressure of the screams and so he flew right towards his fallen hammer and the cause of the sound. He found Karkat and was somewhat thankful he did, after seeing Karkat in that sorry state. Though John sort of kicked himself as he realized that he didn't want to see anyone not God Tier just yet.

He was still afraid of the smoke doing something.

And so to see Karkat now in front of him, staring at sky very intensely with a mix of utter dismay...John was at a loss of what to do. As he tried to squint through the broken lenses, he thought it would be best to go get Karkat and then fix his glasses afterwards.

Now again, currently in the room, after many minutes had passed, since Karkat wasn't talking, he thought it would be a good time to go now.

"Ummmmmm...Karkat? You see, I'll be back... I'm going to um...make a new pair of glasses...

...

...

So...I'll be back soon. It'll only take me like 5 minutes or less. Maybe 3 if I hurry..."

Karkat still looked away from him which was unsettling John. Yet, he was somewhat relieved as well. He didn't want Karkat to really look at him anyways since he was an awful mess. John was turning around when Karkat coldly said, "WHAT...THE FUCK EVEN HAPPENED TO YOU JOHN?"

"I..."

"LIKE SERIOUSLY...WHAT THE FUCK JOHN! YOU FIRST TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME AND TO NOT COME OVER. SO I FUCKING COME OVER. I SEE YOUR HOUSE IN HORRID ENDGAME WRECK SO I FUCKING WORRY LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE AND THEN YOU FUCKING SAUNTER RIGHT OVER LIKE FUCKING NOTHING HAPPENED! YOU'RE FLUSHED AS FUCK AND I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SAY ABOUT YOUR STATE! JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF! JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF! WHY THE FUCK...WHY WAS YOUR BED WITH SO MUCH BLOOD? WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT FUCKING DRESS OF A JACKET AND TAKE OFF THAT HOODIE!"

Clearly Karkat's worry and mellowness had been thrown out the window like everything was that day, as he charged over at John and brought his hoodie down.

John was floored by the sudden outburst as he saw an incoming Karkat then hovering over him. John had thought of zapping away but in his mind he knew that was a bad idea. So he remained there as the fuming Karkat strutted angrily over and brought his hoodie down.

Face to face, John felt Karkat intensely inspect his head over and neck. Karkat held John's shoulders as he made sure John wouldn't run away. John hadn't thought of moving as he began to squirm. Any added pressure on his burnt skin felt like a million needles piercing his skin as he gritted his teeth. The jacket being in any contact on his skin was painful enough. Now to have Karkat grabbing his arms also didn't help.

"Karkat!"

"NOT LETTING YOU GO UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN JUST WHAT THE HORRIBLE FUCK EVEN HAPPENED HERE AND TO YOU. WHAT IS WRONG DAMMIT?"

John hesitated to let out a cry of pain as he muttered hurriedly, "K-k-karkat! T-that's what I DEFINITELY w-want to e-explain! But please l-let me go! You're hurting m-me!"

Karkat narrowed his eyes in deep mistrust as he knew he couldn't possibly be hurting John. He was only holding him with just a little amount of pressure but just enough to not have John escape. Was this _really_ hurting him?

Karkat stared pissed at John. His angry expression began to falter as he noticed true signs of immense pain wring in John's eyes as John winced very hard. Karkat decided to believe John and let him quickly go. He apologized hurriedly but still with an authoritative voice, "ALRIGHT. I LET YOU GO.

I'M SORRY IF...I ACTUALLY DID HURT YOU? BUT JOHN...JUST...WHAT THE FUCK DID HAPPEN? PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU. I JUST NEED TO UNDERSTAND...WHY WAS YOUR BED LIKE THAT? WHY IS YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE HOUSE...DESTROYED?"

John clutched his arms as he turned around and said quietly to Karkat, "Just...please follow me as I at least make a new pair of glasses? Okay? Ahhh...owwwww. I'll explain while making it. Come on."

John began to float out of his room as he went for the stairs going towards the roof floor. Karkat had reapplied the sweater on his nose as he lagged behind John. He was still feeling lightheaded and again he wished he was a God-Tier so he could just merrily float behind.

"Ughhhh."

John stopped immediately as he worriedly looked at Karkat.

"Actually...l-look it's okay. Just stay h-here and I'll be back in a second."

Karkat shook his head fiercely as he flatly retorted, "NO. I'M COMING. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT ANYMORE. YOU WERE ALREADY OUT OF MY SIGHT ENOUGH AND GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO YOURSELF."

John wanted to somewhat correct that statement as he begun to fully comprehend what Karkat was getting at.

 _Wait...does he? Think I wanted to do this... to myself? Oh God no...I'd...never...intend to inflict this stuff normally on myself...though lately...wait what am I saying? I still love myself more than the smoke. I am not going to fall that easily to it._

John replied sternly, "No. It's _not_ what you _think_. The thing that you saw on my bed...and just everything...BLUHHHHHHHHH."

John punched the wall as he immediately regretted it. He was so pissed that nothing was going well today. What hurt him more was that now he realized that Karkat actually thought he was self inflicting damage to himself for funsies or something of that sort. John would never under normal circumstances. But what made John string inside the most, was the look in Karkat's eyes. The look of mistrust like he didn't believe John. The look of pity. John had seen that look before. He never had friends before he met his online friends. Always alone in school while the rest of his classmates looked at him with that same look. The look of pity as if slightly better than him. And that look just bothered John so much. So while he looked at his fist adprest against the crushed wall, he drew it back in horror. Horror because he did such a stupid thing again and because he couldn't frankly believe...that even after the world ended and everyone along with it...that those things still irked him.

While John brought back his fist and placed it beside his leg, on looking behind him was Karkat with wide eyes. He was going into a fit of worry as he looked depressingly on towards John. John amazingly felt a lot better doing that. But Karkat couldn't understand this as he studied John's expression more seriously.

John looked up at Karkat through the broken lenses as he stated, "ALRIGHT THAT WAS STUPID BUT I WAS JUST ANGRY! Look at me! I wouldn't be like this if I WANTED TO! It's the stupid bloody smoke's fault! And stop looking at me like that...I'm not crazy even if your eyes are totally saying that I am right now. Look...long story short...I think I've been cursed or something because ever since I woke up from my coma I've been feeling dread. I saw...a black smoke and I still see it whenever I turn my head around. I don't see it if I turn my whole self around usually. But if I turn my head, I will definitely see it. Look, you might be in danger just by hanging out with me cause I JUST realized yesterday that it actually CAN DO stuff. In all honesty, I think the reason all the stupid shit that was happening in my house lately, like stuff sticking in the way...the shower fights I had from being shot at by the faucet of either intense scalding water or frigid freezing water...was by that stupid prick too... m

In any case, I'm definitely being haunted by this weird thing no one else can see... What is worse... is that it makes me feel like shit and I want to kill myself now I think? FUCK. No wait I take that back, I don't want to die. I want to KILL it so hard but even when I turned back...and smashed the Zillyhoo through the wall...it went right through the smoke and it disappeared...shit. I still feel it so it's not gone...ahhhhhhhhfuck...and then YESTERDAYYY it LIT the STOVE ON. THERE WAS JUST GAS AND WHILE I WAS IN MY ROOM PLAYING- MY WHOLE HOUSE WAS GETTING FILLED WITH GAS!...Huff*... ANDDDDDDDDDD I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE WHEN HE LIT THE FIRE IN MY FACE AND MY KITCHEN BLEW UP! I had to tornado spin the fire off...anddddd...anddddddd.. !"

John started coughing very suddenly as he had been speaking so fast that he didn't breathe. He was hacking spit onto the floor as tears spilled out of his eyes and over his cheeks. Karkat was trembling with extreme sadness as he made his way over and hugged John very lightly. Karkat wanted to hug tighter but he recalled just how small John was and couldn't bare to hurt him anymore than the pain that was on John's face right now.

Karkat closed his eyes as he pat shoosh John's hair as he gently whispered, "THERE,THERE. THERE, THERE. YOU'RE ALRIGHT. YOU'RE ALRIGHT. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY."

John held the ground as he couldn't understand all the intense feelings he was feeling.

 _Was I really this afraid? Oh man...I must look like such a loser right now...but somehow...i feel much better yelling all of that out there. I don't know...if he really believes me...but...I don't feel as alone. God...just look at me...Even the slightest of touch sends my nerves to hell. Karkat is barely even touching me and it's hurting so much. Oh god...maybe I SHOULD kill myself...it wouldn't count as heroic right? Or just? Just so I can wake up in a new and unhurt body...ohhhhhh that's probably not the best idea to do right now...no way how can I even mention that? Can I really go through it? But...I really do want to see the smoke gone. I don't want to see the smoke anymore..._

 _ **So why don't you just kill yourself and get it over with?**_

...

 _SHIT. I'm GOING TO DO IT._

John stopped shaking as he firmly looked up. He really was going to regret this as he slightly took a peak behind him.

And there as always present was the smoke.

John slightly scowled as he put on his endgame face and quickly shot up. This took Karkat by surprise as John mouthed silently, "I'm very sorry."

Karkat had the sneaking suspicion once John tore abruptly away from him what would happen, but he had hoped for the latter. That John could be alright. And Karkat believed him then and there as John gave him that look of utter despair and battle mode turning on. Karkat wasn't sure if John was going to duke it out with him or what, until Karkat's mind remembered the words, "Smoke."

John looked fumingly at the stairs where there was nothing. That was when John increasingly screamed, "FUCK I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT. YOU HAPPY?!"

Karkat's mind was working at the speed of light when he blurted out, "IS IT THE SMOKE? IS WHAT...WHO YOU ARE YELLING AT?"

John briefly looked at Karkat as he looked now in utter surprise...

"C-can YOU? SEE IT NOW?"

"NO I CAN'T! BUT I BELIEVE YOU! BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT? JOHN!?"

Karkat had a sinking feeling in his chest as he looked at his friend crumbling before him. The jacket swayed like a cloak as John looked sadly at Karkat. His hair was so twisted and a mess as it fell over his face. His face was beyond flushed as Karkat was finally starting to notice the deep cut on John's cheek and lips. John looked so broken that Karkat began to cry. His inner desperation was climbing to an all time high as he didn't know what was happening. Why John was behaving like this and what was driving John to this whole other John he never saw before.

He had seen his troll friends go crazy on the comet as they killed each other.

And so as he looked onwards at John with that same dread, he froze solid inside as he knew he was worried for a reason. He had seen that same stare before. It was the stare that Eridian had before he killed Feferi and shot his magic at Kanaya. It was the same stare that Vriska had when she went to go looking for her other ghost self. Those were stares of intent on dawning a battle or some sort. The beginning of an end.

So as he looked at John's deep blue eyes he could only help but say, "NOOOOOOOOO..."

John found it hard to look away from Karkat since he was sure that would be the last time this current self saw him. It tore him in two to see the dawning mixture of pain and sadness light up in Karkat's eyes. But John had to do this...or not do this...and either way it was going to suck. So as John looked back towards the stairs he found himself gasping. John's eyes widened as he muttered aloud though more to himself, "Y-you...you got...bigger? OH SHIT."

With that, John was about to break for it when he saw the smoke quickly disappear and then reappear right behind Karkat.

In slow motion, John turned so white he couldn't breathe. As John saw the smoke manifest behind Karkat, the black smoke weld a sharp like sword sticking out in the middle as it then moved closer towards Karkat's back in motion to stab him.

A fear so strong boiled so quickly that John abruptly shot towards Karkat and patted Karkat's forehead. With palm outstretched, John managed to quickly say the words, "Goodbye," as Karkat dumbfoundedly disappeared and was zapped back to Dave's house. The Smoke held t smoke-like sword exactly where Karkat had been a second before. Had John arrived 1 second less, Karkat would have been shish kabob and with that John pummeled through the smoke. John couldn't understand whether or not the smoke was tangible or not as he floated on through. As soon as he landed back on the floor, he spun around as he held his ground gasping for air. He had definitely fallen through the spear like smoke but felt nothing. And so that was when John realized that the smoke had only faked a weapon and an intent to harm Karkat. It was all for show.

John smiled dangerously when he saw a small fire light in the middle of the smoke. John was ready to battle this thing for it was a long time coming. And so, John zapped himself out of the hallway as he saw his house again catch on fire from above in the sky. His heart was beating so fast he thought he'd die from it. As he hung in the air, he gulped as he saw the smoke ascending towards him.

"YOU CAN FLY?" John blurted out.

John began to speed away from the smoke and dashed towards the lake. He was zig zagging away as he peered back and saw the smoke following him intently with a escalating and doom like motion. John looked forward while the air brought his hair towards his face. Looking sadly through the swaying bangs, he took a last look at his friends peaceful looking houses...how he longed to have visited them more...how he longed that the smoke never appeared in his life...so as he tore his blue crystal eyes away he gave one last wince and abruptly shot upwards. The smoke followed, as John zigzagged in the sky. To other eyes, it would have looked as if John was just haphazardly zooming around for fun. However, to John's eyes, he saw the smoke grow triple in size and that alone set all alarms off. He was going to kill himself but right now he was going to take a chance at killing this monster motherfuck too.

Battle crying, John wailed in the sky as he shot intense spurts of wind towards the smoke. The smoke evaded at each attempt John gave. John kept soaring higher and higher when he realized that he had left his Zillyhoo still pathetically on the ground and never got to it. Gosh jolly, it would have been a treat had his hammer have the same magic of being called to like Thor's hammer. With the Zillyhoo, John felt he had a chance to have fought with the smoke...but then he remember how the Zillyhoo had passed through the smoke when he first thrashed it at his wall.

 _The Zillyhoo...wouldn't have worked anyway..._

John felt the air temperature change suddenly the more and more he climbed. He was getting towards space when he decided to zap. He had zapped to where the current sun was and as he turned, he saw the smoke had also zapped with him. John truly was afraid but held it all in place as he firmly gave away a stern look. The smoke had stopped chasing him and just hung in the air as John steadily caught his breath.

"YOUUUU...FUCK."

 **Die John. Why don't you just die John? Why don't you just die John? Why don't you just die John?**

John heard this inside his head as he barked back bitterly, "NO YOU DUMBFUCK. I DON'T WANT TO."

 **But you will. You will die. You will die before I die. Just Die. .DIE. DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEIDIDIEIDIDIEIDIDIDEIDDID.**

John trembled as he brought his hands towards his head.

He couldn't stop quaking as he looked so bitterly at the smoke. It didn't help that the smoke had his voice and that he was hearing himself screaming for him to die. He didn't want that. Not in the slightest. But at this point...it almost seemed like it would relieve him of this pain. Maybe if he did die...maybe this thing would disappear?

John could only ask quietly, "Wait...how did you get bigger?"

This time the smoke did not answer as it feigned weakness.

That was when it dawned upon John that he had been taking this all wrong. The moment he gave in to the smoke, did the smoke get bigger. It was as if, it fed off his depression but most of all...it fed off the moment John gave up on himself and his life. John looked in shock as he realized this.

Things only got bad because he got bad. Had he continued to persist with positive thinking, would the smoke not have grown and grown enough to now take action on its own. It was his fault in the end. It was his fault.

At this point...he was willing to go on with it- the killing of his life. This definitely wouldn't count as heroic or just so...he just had to...do it and be done with it. That way this smoke would leave as John remembered, "you have to die before I die."

Maybe John was being led to do this because the smoke wanted to die but couldn't because John was so stubbornly alive? John really couldn't know or care.

He looked miserably at the smoke he decided to try something else. It still irked him that the smoke would be getting what it wanted...but John also wanted to defeat it in some sense...he wanted to see the smoke hurt as he hurt. And this was the only time that it could happen. It was a fitting place for a showdown as the green sun casted off green light rays of light and heat to this space like surrounding.

The smoke might have sense John's arising intent on not dying as the smoke backed away a little bit.

John quickly sprung a tornado and took the Green sun's fire. He shot the fire lit tornado at the smoke. The smoke dodged. John swung another fire tornado now from under the smoke as the smoke dodged again. John was caught off guard when suddenly the smoke had disappeared and reappeared only an inch before him. John couldn't even bat an eye as the smoke engulfed him and hung around him like tightening spiderlike thread. John gagged violently as he vomit out blood. The blood floated in space away from him as John began to shake violently like a seizure. He was falling out of consciousness as he heard chanting in his mind.

 **Die DIEDIE die DIE DIE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING. NO ONE LOVED YOU. NO ONE EVER NEEDED YOU. YOU ARE A LIE. YOU WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE BORN. YOU ARE A MISTAKE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF NOTHING. YOU ARE AIR BECAUSE YOU ARE LIKE AIR. SEE THROUGH AND INVISIBLE. NO ONE EVER WANTED YOU AS THEIR LEADER. NO ONE EVER WANTED YOU AS THEIR FRIEND. YOU ARE A LIE. YOU ARE A LIE. NOW DIE. Die. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.**

John kept vomiting blood as he truly couldn't breath now. His throat burned so much as he felt himself getting hotter and hotter. John bleakly opened his eyes as he saw himself being sucked in by the gravity of the sun. John stared through his bloodshot eyes at the green sun as it got bigger and bigger. He softly whimpered.

It seems as if he was going to die.

And out of all his deaths, this was probably the most tremendously in pain one he had suffered yet.

John cried as he saw through his cracked glasses, the green spectacular before him.

He knew he could save himself.

It was only a zap away.

But death was seemingly so sweet as it would end all the nerve pain and damage he had sustained thus far. And if he did zap away, John could already see it now. He could see the worries on his friends faces and somehow that bit a huge chunk off of his determination to survive. If he died right now, his friends wouldn't know. Well, maybe Karkat would say something. But John was sure he'd regenerate in time before things escalated down on earth. So, the decision was set. He was to die. And for the most part, he was okay by it.

The moment he felt that way, John felt the smoke release him. He felt his body totally and wholly broken as he realized that there was no pain anymore. He couldn't even feel the heat. His nerves were shot. And so was he. John couldn't believe he had any spirit left inside when his mind drew to other things.

He saw images of his friends, smiling at him and laughing. Why couldn't it always be like that?

Why couldn't he be like that now?

John vomited harshly again as he managed to settle down the mixture of bile and blood in his mouth and gulped it forcefully down. He closed his eyes as if finally being relieved from such a heavy torture. In his mind, this would probably all be over once he died one more time. He was sure he'd wake up again and that the smoke would be gone. This bullshit could finally be over. And that thought alone was what prevented John from zapping himself away from the clutches of the Green Sun's orbit.

.

* * *

.

Back at earth, Karkat had just been momentarily zapped into Dave's room as he went crashing down hard on Dave's stomach. It felt like the wind was kicked out of him when Karkat smashed heavily on top of Dave as Dave yelled.

Karkat not missing a beat, rolled himself off Dave and went crashing into the floor. He landed on some poor unsuspecting cups and plate as they shattered below him. Karkat yelled as well, as he quickly brought up his hands with new gashes and cuts.

Dave reacted so quickly that he floated upwards to the ceiling so fast- that he hit the ceiling hard. This was all too much for Dave's brain to handle in the morning as he was trying to realize just what in the fuck was going on.

After seeing Karkat on the floor, his eyes widened a second time as he noticed the immense blood splattered all over Karkat's Shirt and pants. Dave immediately zoomed to Karkat as he worryingly questioned, "HOLY SHIT DUDE WHAT THE FUCK? YOURE BLEEDING LIKE SPEEDY GONZALEZ JUST WENT ON SPEED. SHIT."

Dave immediately grabbed Karkat's shirt and brought it upwards to see if there was a chest wound. Karkat still registering everything was just as shocked when he pushed Dave away. He blushed as he managed to blurt out, "I'M FINE! WELL! NO NOT REALLY! SHIT JOHN. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! DAVE YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM FROM DOING WHATEVER BULLSHIT HE'S ABOUT TO DO!"

Dave looked on confused as Karkat calmed himself down and tried again, "I'M SORRY...I'M FINE. I HAD A SUDDEN NOSEBLEED AND THAT'S THE REASON MY SHIRT IS RUINED BEYOND ALL BELIEF BUT SERIOUSLY. THAT'S NOT REALLY IMPORTANT. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS YOU STOPPING OUR BEST BRO JOHN FROM DOING WHATEVER HE IS GOING TO DO. YOU'VE GOT TO GET TO HIM RIGHT NOW!"

"Karkat! What do you mean? What about John? What is he going to do?"

Karkat became hysterical then as he internally knew there was just no time to truly catch Dave up to speed.

"LOOK, JOHN WAS WEARING THE SAME LOOK...THE SAME LOOK THAT I HAVE SEEN TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE. THAT'S THE ENDGAME LOOK. THE LOOK RIGHT BEFORE YOU USUALLY DO SOMETHING INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND OFTEN LARGELY UNFORGIVABLE! THOUGH IT'S NOT SOMETHING HE IS GOING TO DO TO SOMEONE ELSE... BUT TO HIMSELF! HE WAS HURT BEYOND BELIEF AND WEAK AS CAN BE WHEN I GOT TO HIS PLACE. IT WAS ALL TRASHED. I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST CLUE WHAT HE DID TO IT BUT I'M SURE NOW HE WAS PROBABLY TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF. AND NOW...I THINK...HE'S EITHER TRULY BEYOND MENTAL OR HE'S REALLY TELLING THE TRUTH AND THAT THERE IS THIS CURSE THING ON HIM THAT JUST SPUN HIM OUT OF CONTROL. HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF DAVE. HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF. WHICH IS WHY YOU'VE GOT TO STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE A DUMB FUCK AND GET TO FLYING TO HIM!"

Dave finally understood as he picked up his sword and placed it in his sylladex. He looked evenly at Karkat with a swift air as he stated firmly, "Tell the other's I'm going John hunting."

Karkat couldn't help but face palm as he couldn't and just wouldn't believe that Dave, out of all times, had made or half tried to make a lame joke. Karkat was about to yell Dave another piece of his mind when he saw Dave's expression grow dark and incredibly pensive. Dave quickly put on his pants as he quickly opened his window all the way and flew out with a escalating speed. Dave had really no clue what the fuck Karkat was blubbering on and on about. John had seemed fine yesterday even though there was something John was going to tell him today. Had things turned so awful as he slept that John was willing to now take his life? Dave just couldn't comprehend that logic when it came to John. Would the John he knew, the John that smiled like a dork with bucktooth teeth, the John that loved the crappiest movies known to all man and troll kind...would he really do the unforgivable?

Dave's throat went dry as beads of sweat slid down his forehead.

He didn't know where to exactly go so he zoomed straight towards John's House. His eyes were utterly frightened as he realized he flew out without putting on his sunglasses. So it was embarrassing as fuck to be outside without them. The 2nd thing he grew shocked about, was seeing John's front lawn and house. Trees were all over the place and holes and holes of plenty littered everywhere. There was a large patch of grass just sitting on the roof as he directed his eyes at what he saw that could not be true.

There was this gaping hole through John's wall as he saw the bedroom empty. He had been zooming so fast that he almost missed something. There was a faint blue glint as he flew on by-that halted him somewhat. So as he slowed down and turned back, that was when he saw the Zillyhoo.

Now Dave knew something was horribly- horribly wrong because John would never leave without his weapon. That was basic main character instincts that one shouldn't let go of. So as Dave captchalogged the weapon, he couldn't help but feel an escalating hotness on his cheeks.

That was when Dave saw shots of fierce gusts of wind land on the lake and cause a grand scale tidal wave as the waves reached an all time high in the sky. 4 other shots of wind cannonballs into the lake bringing up more water into the air. The water drizzled heavily onto the ground as the waves of water in the middle of lake gained momentum and spilled over the lake's rim and sloppily brushed their selves against all the houses. Dave saw the water swim against Rose's front, Jade's front, and could spot the flamingo's he had lined up at the entrance of his house, being swept away by the waves.

Dave felt a twinge of sorrow for that as it had taken a long time to put them all up in the first place. And now, seeing the waves of water wash over everything, he really was upset.

The sadness quickly waned as he looked up. He didn't hesitate to think further as he shot upwards as quickly as he could.

 _That was definitely John alright. Those are his wind gusts. I'm coming._

Dave flew so high and yet he couldn't see where John was. He was either a spec or flying much faster than he was-that it was practically unfair. John had his cheat mode of being the heir of breath thus making his element something of a bitch to compete with. But Dave's element was of time and so Dave knew if something horrible had happened, he was sure that he could change something in the timeline. He had hoped to never use time hopping again since that could still fuck up many things. Oh how he'd give for John's convenient time jumping without fucking up timelines.

Dave was feeling the colder air as he realized he was now leaving the atmospheric bubble. That was when he saw green tornado's emerge from the green sun. Dave had to blink a few times to really understand if what he saw was imagination or true actual reality. When he saw another tornado appear, he knew that was John probably doing some windy shit with the sun. But what worried Dave was not why John was doing this, but against WHOM? He prayed that he would get there in time and somewhat thought back to his brother Dirk when he was hearing the tales Dirk had gone through in his timeline. How he had to fly around for who knows how long before he flew right into a window and collided with Dave for the very first time courtesy of Vriska shenanigans. And that was how they first met.

"THIS is...SO ANNOYING."

Dave gritted his teeth as he forced himself to fly faster and faster. Flying beyond your average limits was incredibly tiring as he finally saw fruit for all this outpacing.

It was when he saw John that he felt like the universe had time stop in itself. His forehead wrinkled very deeply as he saw tons of blackish blood surround John. John was violently shaking as if he had epilepsy and was gagging. Truly Dave, in that very moment, wished for all the world to stop working.

He flew straight towards him as he saw a black like thing un-cling itself from John's body. At first, he thought he was seeing things but as he opened his eyes wider, it was no mistake. He did see...something akin to a smoke like substance release John's whole entire body as John relaxed. The rigidness of his body and shaking then stopped. He stopped moving and remained limp floating in the air.

Dave swore his heart stopped the moment he saw John go limp and float towards the green sun like a deadweight. Dave hadn't realized there were tears streaming down his face as he flew on closer and closer towards his friend. At last he was only but a few meters away, when he zoomed straight through John's floating blood, as it splashed all over his face and upper body. He didn't flinch nor bat an eye as he finally saw that green like jacket come closer and then in an instant, he hugged John.

They both shot towards the Green sun as it dawned upon Dave how difficult the gravity was now pressing on him. He turned John around as he finally could see his friend amidst all this horror. Dave felt like shutting down as he felt what he was watching wasn't true.

John's eyes were closed as Dave saw John's face in the greenish light. It looked so hollow and wrung like all the blood had came out of him. There were deep purple bags under his eyes and many cuts on his cheeks and lips. His lips were a hint of blue as he didn't seem to be breathing. Dave couldn't hear anything then. It as if all had become silence. It didn't even matter that him and John were both heading into the Green Sun. It was truly among all ironic things to die by the Green Sun since he had also been born a God Tier by the Green Sun. Dave saw deep burns and bruises all over John's neck and head. He couldn't see anymore since John wore such a long and oversized pullover jacket/hoodie.

Dave brought John in closer towards himself as John's rolled onto Dave's broad shoulder like a rag doll. Dave held John so close to his heart as he solemnly stated, "Well SHIT...John...

SHIT JOHN...

John...

I AM so sorry...

I had no idea...

TRULY not at all...

I...DIDN'T EVEN picked up, in the slightest, of all your worries...

I'm so god awfully sorry.

Worst of all...it looks as well as if we're going to die...like truly die. Or maybe just me...because I just flew straight up to you for thousands of meters just to save you...

Does that then mean...that this is a heroic death for me?

I'm sorry John. I'm sorry everyone..."

The moment Dave said that, did John start to breathe a little more as John tried to open his eyes. They felt so heavy and he possibly couldn't succeed. It was as if all nerves in his body had shut down and nothing was responding.

Increasingly agitated, a ghost like version of John that floated in his mind, mentally screamed at himself.

 _Brain! WORK! MOVE! SOMETHING! I have to let Dave know I can hear him. COME ON!_

Nothing budged, not even an inch, even though he felt Dave's chest and his shaking breathes. John was mentally awake but he couldn't even show it. Was his body so worn down that he couldn't control it anymore. John panicked more inside as he was sure he heard what he heard. If it was true...then he would probably die and come back to life...but...since Dave had flown out to save him...that would certainly mean Dave's rescue would count...

as a HEROIC DEATH.

John tried his best to make any movement. It was then that he managed to hiccup as Dave opened his eyes and un-hugged John a little bit. He saw that John was now breathing as he simply began to reel with brimming hope. Dave felt glad that in his last moments John was alive with him in a sense. So as Dave prepared to be totally sucked in by the Green Sun and die an honorable death as a knight of time, Dave smiled a painful and sorrowful smile and John couldn't bare it.

In his mind, he was thrashing around and screaming from the tops of his lungs to wake the fuck up and move! John felt his hand twitch as he then knew what to do. He felt so awfully bad for getting Karkat and Dave involved with a mess he had been dealing with on his own. He truly thought that if he stayed inside and hid from everyone that eventually things would clear up. He knew that this was not the case now. He had made the wrong decision to continue to smile and force himself to pretend as if nothing was wrong. Had he really no trust in his friends?

Yes, it was true that when he woke up, it stung to see all his friends get along so well. He felt like an outsider even though he had always felt like an insider before. He hadn't realized at the time that it was due to the smoke's influence yet and decided it best to keep everyone at arm's length. If only...he had asked for help from the start.

John tried to move his hand a little more and succeeded. That was when John internally heard the smoke rear it's horrible voice again.

An angry mimic John yells, "H **o ho...finally you will die. Truly you will die. And what is better is that not only you will die...but your friend will die too. Alas, that is how the human cookie crumbles. See how much misfortune you bring? You loser. You loser. Die John. Die you Tumult."**

John faintly remembered he had heard that word before, "Tumult," but he couldn't exactly recall who had been the user of that vocabulary. John tried his best to mentally answer back at the darkness in his mind in the bravest voice he could muster.

 _Yes...Of course...I may have lost this round. But I'll come back alive and kicking...And...so will Dave too._

 **How can that be? He's going to die with you.**

John mentally smirked as he proudly remarked, _"How can he die with me if I blast him away?"_

With this, the smoke quieted as the smoke realized what was about to happen next.

With all of his energy that he had left, which wasn't a lot, John made a small ball of wind in the palm of his hand. Dave couldn't believe it when he felt a sudden surge of wind blast against him as he was forced to let go of John. His fingers reached for John as he saw John smile briefly. His blood froze as he realized what John was doing. But John kept surging the wind from his hand.

With one final force, he totally and fully Blasted Dave so quickly far away that Dave spun crazily in the space and back towards Earth.

Dave couldn't for the life of him understand as he free fell through space.

John had Zap powers.

Why didn't he use it?

John could have saved himself.

Why didn't he try to?

So as Dave looked torn-fully onwards to his shrinking friend, John kept smiling as he finally drifted into the Green Sun.

Dave had screamed the most painful and excruciating type of scream that can't be fully written down in history nor in time. In anguish, he clutched himself as he realized that despite all his effort of trying to save John...

...it had been John who saved him.

With that Dave cried and cried as he yelled into the never ending cosmos. He demanded that the Cosmo's give John back but most of all to end that thing...the thing that cornered his best bro pal into such a corner that he chose death over loving to even save himself.

Dave felt himself blacking out but shook himself awake. He was definitely out for the count as he realized a chilling thought. John had just... SAVED HIM.

That COULDN'T COUNT as HEROIC OR JUST...

COULD IT?

Dave would have pondered the thought more but he felt too ill suddenly and just decided to freefall back to earth. He'd have to send the other God Tiers to get John's...body...when it would slip out of the Green Sun...if it ever did...

 _No...He will...come back...he just has to._

Dave couldn't think straight as he knew there would DEFINITELY be a way to get John's body out of the sun. Would he be up for that right now and should he be? Hell yes. But right now, he couldn't handle much of anything and was going to leave it to the rest of his friends.

So as he entered back into the atmosphere, he tried his best to float as gently as he could back down. The world was turning hazy as he realized that John's gust of wind, as much as it had been saving his life, actually knocked the wind out of him. It definitely packed a punch and it dawned upon Dave how much it must have sucked for the monsters on John's world to be killed by the Windy powers. For they in fact, HURT LIKE HELL.

Dave was finally nearing the lake as he saw Roxy flying straight towards him followed by a Rose. Roxy was the first one to look up and notice tremendous off vibes from Dave. So she rose to flying up towards him first. Rose had been consulting a very worried Karkat who had finally changed into another shirt and pants and carefully bandaged his hand from the cut earlier as well as his nose. As both Karkat and Rose looked up, they both paled as Dave slowly saw their worried expressions turn fast aghast.

All that they saw was Dave covered in blood. Though they didn't know that it was John's blood.

His blond white hair had streaks of blackish red blood as it looked like all energy had been drained from him. Everything was inaudible to Dave as he saw Karkat probably yelling words in concern at him. His eyes were so wide as Dave looked at them absentmindedly.

 _I don't like that look. That look of his eyes..._

He faintly registered Karkat still screaming about something but he couldn't make anything of it out. Rose started flying up after Roxy and towards him in a frightful hurry after truly seeing Dave's state.

It was Roxy who had reached Dave first as he finally let himself pass out. Roxy was yelling but nothing was heard by Dave. He felt closure as he closed his eyes because he just...couldn't stand looking at the blue sky right now. For that deep blueness pierced through his heart as John's eyes usually did.

To think of his eyes now...dull and lifeless, left a sour taste in his mouth as he felt tears streaming down his face. Roxy was carrying him when Dave felt that Rose had probably arrived and was also helping to carry him downwards too. Dave really wished he would stop zoning out to hear whatever the fuck his friends were spouting...but he had no energy... and if he did...he didn't want to use it because what would be the reason? What was done was already done. John slide into the green Sun and smiling nonetheless- while he kept his eyes closed in a sleep like stance the whole time.

This burned Dave's heart as he felt thoroughly stabbed. When Dave felt his feet touch the ground, perhaps it was the safety of finally being back on earth or something other, but then he suddenly broke out a heavy and long sob. He chocked it back as he wanted to talk but nothing comprehensible came out. He felt this pain before.

Yes...it was when his brother Dirk died. The adult version of him. And that same feeling was flooding back in surges and surges as it drowned Dave. What stung Dave the most was knowing that John could have zapped them both out of that danger zone...but John had chosen not to. And from this hour onwards, Dave would be sure to get to the bottom of this no matter what. Whatever had pushed John to make that reasoning... had ended him. And for that, Dave was truly going to get revenge. That thing that unleashed John in the end, the smoke that unclung John in that one brief moment was most likely the perpetrator. That thing...had resulted in everyone who cared for John, to lose him, either momentarily or infinitely. And right now, both weighted exactly the same.

.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** TuT This was probably the first writing I've written that actually made me cringe and feel immense sads* while writing it. Like Damn. How am I even going to fix this? TmmmT


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